It’s 2020 24/7 | The Daily Show


From Comedy Central’s World News Headquarters
in New York, “The Daily Show
with Trevor Noah” presents… ♪ ♪ “It’s 2020…” “24/7.” ♪ ♪ – Every day, the field
of Democratic candidates gets bigger and bigger. And this morning,
it didn’t just get bigger, it got louder. – Hi, I’m Bernie Sanders. I’m running for president. Our campaign is about taking on the powerful special interests that dominate our economic
and political life. I’m talking about Wall Street,
the health insurance companies, the drug companies,
the fossil fuel industry, the military
industrial complex, the private prison industry, and the large
multi-national corporations. – Oh, damn.
[laughter] Yo, Bernie has entered
the race, and did you hear
his list of enemies? This guy doesn’t mess around. Yeah, he didn’t come to play. He was like, “Big banks,
little banks, Tyra Banks. I’m shutting you all down.
You’re all going down.” And you can tell that Bernie’s
serious about winning because he didn’t rub his hair
with a balloon before filming this video. He’s serious now.
He’s in it. “No balloon this time.
We’re going smooth.” [laughter] Now, if Bernie were
to win the presidency, he would become the oldest
American president ever. Yes, and I mean that literally. He was born a few months
before George Washington. But…
[laughter] But don’t let Bernie’s age
fool you. This guy is as feisty as ever. Just look at how he responded to Howard Schultz threatening
the Democratic Party. – Howard Schultz has now said he would not run
as an Independent if the Democrats nominate
a moderate. – Oh, isn’t that nice? Why is Howard Schultz on every television station
in this country? Why are you quoting
Howard Schultz? Because he’s a billionaire. – Yo, I’ve missed Bernie
so much. Are you kidding me? That was–
“Oh, isn’t that nice? A-ha-ha-ha.
Isn’t that nice?” Because every other politician
would respond to that answer in, like,
a politiciany way. They’d be like, “Well,
I believe Howard Schultz entering the race would be
irresponsible at this time.” Bernie’s just like,
“Howard Schultz can run for president
of my ass!” [laughter] [percussive music] – Of all the Democrats hoping
to be president, the one whose positions
have changed the most from what they used to be
is arguably Kirsten Gillibrand. Before she was a senator,
Gillibrand represented a conservative district
in Upstate New York. And even though that was
a long time ago, she’s still trying to make sure
the slate is wiped clean for her 2020 run. – You’ve said Trump’s
immigration positions are racist. Now, as you know, you were more conservative early on in your
career on immigration. You said you were
a “firm opponent” of giving “amnesty
to illegal aliens.” You said English should be “the official language
of the United States.” You called
for expediting deportation of undocumented immigrants. If Trump’s immigration
positions are racist, were they racist when you held
some of those positions as well? – They certainly
weren’t empathetic and they were not kind
and I did not think about suffering
in other people’s lives. And so I took the time. I went down to Brooklyn, I met with Nydia Velázquez, who’s been a leader in fighting
for families for a long time, and I listened
and I realized that things I had said
were wrong. – To be fair–to be fair. I get why Gillibrand
had to say, “I went to Brooklyn and I saw things
in a different way.” Because let’s be honest,
if she had said, “Yeah, my policies used
to be racist, but then they changed,” you know,
the headlines would just be “Gillibrand Admits Racism,” and Trump,
he’d never let that go. He’d probably make it
her new nickname. He’d be like,
“My opponent, Ku Klux Kirsten,
is so racist, she’s trying
to steal the nomination from Native Americans
like Elizabeth Warren. [laughter and groans] But this is not the first time
that Gillibrand has apologized for her previous
policy positions. Because, you see,
it turn out she also used to be
very pro-gun. – As a congresswoman, Gillibrand used that
family tradition of hunting to appeal
to conservative voters in Upstate New York. She boasted an “A” rating
from the NRA. So why the 180? – After I got appointed, I went down to Brooklyn to meet with families
who had suffered from gun violence
in their communities, and you immediately experience
the feeling that I couldn’t have been
more wrong. – Okay, uh… [laughter] What’s…
what’s going on in Brooklyn? [laughter and applause] Like… Every time… every time Gillibrand
goes to Brooklyn, she changes another position. [laughter] I feel like they’re gonna have
to make a remix to that Jay Z/Alicia Keys song. It’s gonna be like…
♪ Now I’m out in Brooklyn ♪ ♪ Changin’ my mind
on gun rights ♪ ♪ Used to hate illegals,
now I fight the good fight ♪ ♪ In New York ♪ ♪ Turns out all my past views
were racist ♪ ♪ They’re somethin’
I’m changin’ ♪ [percussive music] We’ve also gotten
an announcement from one of the biggest names
in politics, Elizabeth Warren. And she celebrated
her announcement with a live Instagram chat
from inside her kitchen. – Senator Elizabeth Warren
becoming the biggest name in the Democratic field to signal she’s running
for president. Now looking to reintroduce
herself to Democrats, connecting with supporters
on Instagram. – Hold on a sec. I’m gonna get me, um, a beer.
[claps] My husband, Bruce,
is now in here. Um, you want a beer? – No, I’ll pass
on a beer for now. – You sure?
Come and say hello to the folks. – Yes, okay.
– So, this is my sweetie. – Hello.
– Um, he’s the best. Thank you for being here.
– Pleasure. – I’m glad you’re here. [laughter] – I don’t always drink beer…
[laughter] But when I’m trying
to look relatable, I do it on Instagram.
[laughter] That was an interesting choice,
though, right? It really is an
interesting choice from Warren, just drinking alone
in her kitchen. [laughter] I guess she wanted
to start her campaign, the same way Hilary ended hers,
you know? Oh!
[cheers and applause] Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! ♪ ♪ – There’s
an old African saying: If you keep quiet
for long enough, you can hear a new Democrat
joining the president race. [laughter] Did you hear that?
Another one just joined. – Brand-new Democrat in
the race for the White House, former Texas congressman
Beto O’Rourke, the social media phenom who lost his race
for the senate last year, joined the growing field
just moments ago. He’s campaigning in Iowa today. – And we have something that almost no other country
in the world has. We have
the single greatest mechanism to call forth the genius
of our fellow human beings. This democracy, more than
320 million people strong, can bring the ingenuity,
the creativity, the resolve
of an entire country. – Yes, that’s right. Beto O’Rourke is officially
in the race, and it’s about time because he’d been teasing us
for months. Yeah, he wouldn’t say
he was running, but he was on Oprah, he was on the cover
of “Vanity Fair,” he released a documentary, but whenever we asked him
if he was running, he’d answer like
a coy Southern belle. “I might,
but a lady never tells.” [giggles mockingly] And, I mean, obviously,
we all saw this coming. This is the least surprising
thing to happen since we found out
Tucker Carlson said something racist. And a lot of people–
a lot of people are wondering, “Why is Beto even running
for president “when he couldn’t even beat
Ted Cruz? I mean, he lost.” I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, he lost, “but he lost by a little bit, which is what people love.” Yeah, it’s like “Rocky”
or “Cool Runnings” or “Bad News Bears.” You see, humans are weird. If you win easily,
people hate you, right, like Tom Brady, and if you lose by too much,
we just think you suck. But if you lose
by just a little bit, people are like,
“That’s my guy.” [laughter] [percussive music] This year is special because we’re not
just hearing from candidates who make you say,
“Who the hell is that?” We’re also hearing from
candidates who make you say, “Remind me who that is again.” – Former Housing secretary
Julian Castro kicked off
his campaign for president in his hometown
of San Antonio, Texas. Castro was mayor
of San Antonio before he joined
the Obama administration. – The American dream
is not a sprint… Or even a marathon, but a relay. Together we will show that hope can be bigger
than fear, that light can be bigger
than darkness, and that truth can be
bigger than lies. And as long
as we work for it, tomorrow will always
be better than today, so let’s go work. Vamonos!
[cheers and applause] [laughter] – Is it just me or does Castro
sound like he went to the Obama School of Speech? [laughter] Like, same cadence, same delivery… maybe it is Obama. [laughter] Like, maybe he just got fed up
and he was like, “Uh, screw it.
I’ll run again. “Uh…just give me
my Hispanic mask and I’ll do it.”
[laughter] And they’re like, “Sir,
no one will fall for that.” He’s like,
“Uh, that’s what you said about my birth certificate.
Let’s do it. Come on.” [percussive music] ♪ ♪ – Now, in the 2020 race
for president tonight, make room
for one more contender, Senator Cory Booker announcing
his presidential bid today. Joining the already crowded
Democratic field. Hermana!
– [indistinct shouting] Hola!
Como estas? – His neighbor,
cheering him on. – Okay, uh… I don’t know if I want
Cory Booker to be president, but I do know
I want that old woman to be the neighbor
of the president. [laughter]
That is dope. They should just move her
to an apartment outside the Oval Office. Every morning, she’ll be like,
“Senor Trump, “can you turn your TV down? It’s too loud.
My cats cannot sleep.” “Lo siento, Abuela. Mi amigo, Sean Hannity,
es muy loco.” [laughter] Now, if Cory wins,
he obviously wouldn’t be the first
African-American president, but he would make history as the first president
named Cory, which might be
an even bigger achievement. Yeah. Cory is not
the name of a president. Cory’s the name of
the hot guy in high school who now runs
his dad’s gas station. That’s what that is.
[laughter] Although, I will say, he’s already got
one advantage on Trump. He’s windproof.
That’ll work. [percussive music] ♪ ♪ Of all the candidates
in the race, the frontrunner right now
is someone who isn’t even running yet, a 76-year-old man
with the 12-year-old teeth, Joe Biden.
[laughter] Now, currently,
the former vice president is putting out feelers
to see where he stands, and, apparently, the answer is
too close to women. – Joe Biden on defense after a former
Nevada state lawmaker said he made her feel uneasy
during an interaction in 2014. Lucy Flores
first made the allegation in an essay for “The Cut”
on Friday detailing the encounter
with the former vice president at a campaign rally in Nevada as she ran
for lieutenant governor. – Flores does not believe
it was sexual, but she calls it
inappropriate. – Very unexpectedly
and out of nowhere, I feel Joe Biden put his hands
on my shoulders, get up very close to me
from behind, lean in, smell my hair, and then plant a slow kiss on the top of my head. – Like, honestly,
smelling hair is one of the creepiest things
you can do. It’s on the list
of creepy things. It’s right after
collecting doll parts and sneezing
with your eyes open. Achoo. [laughter] Sorry.
Allergies. [laughter] Like–like, this is my thing. What is it with America’s
vice presidents? Right?
None of them are normal. One guys
is smelling women’s hair. The other one refuses
to be near a woman without a chaperone. Isn’t there a middle ground? There’s no
vice-middle-president, huh? There’s nowhere between
“Me Too” and “Handmaid’s Tale”? No someone in between? But Biden isn’t ready
to give up, my friends, no. He’s gently grabbing
this scandal by the shoulders and he’s doing damage control. – I’m a tactile politician.
I always have been. That’s what gets me
in trouble as well. But I think I can feel
and taste what’s going on. – Taste?
[laughter and groans] Taste?
We’re tasting now too? [laughter] Who writes this guy’s speeches?
Hannibal Lecter? [laughter] “I’ve been all across
this great country, and let me tell you this, no one more delicious
than Iowans.” [clicks tongue rapidly] ♪ ♪ – First thing’s first,
a lot of people are asking, “How do you pronounce
this guy’s name?” [laughter] It’s pronounced “Pete.” [laughter] Oh, and as for his last name, we’re still figuring
that one out. – Pete Buttige– Buttiget–Buttiged. – South Bend mayor
Pete Buttiget– Buttigeg, I always say. – Buttijeg.
– Buttijeg. – Indiana mayor Pete Budedig. – Buttiggeg.
– Buttigig. – Buttigig.
– P-Pete Buttigige. – Peter Buttag,
the mayor of Indianapolis. – [laughs]
Buttigieg. But around South Bend,
they just call me Mayor Pete, and that’s fine with me. – Ah, thank God, Mayor Pete. We’ll take Mayor Pete.
We’ll take Mayor Pete. Yeah, ’cause people were really
struggling with this one. It’s not Buttiedge, it’s not Buttijay, and it’s definitely not Buttag. It’s Buttigeig. But now that we’re all
on the same page on how to say his name,
what has he done? – For a guy who’s only 37, Pete Buttigieg boosts–
boasts an impressive résumé. First elected mayor
of his hometown at age 29, a Harvard educated
Rhodes Scholar, as well as a lieutenant
in the Navy Reserve. – Took an unpaid
seven-month leave during his
mayoral term for a deployment
to Afghanistan. – Not only the first openly
gay presidential candidate, he’s also a newlywed. – Would be
a president of firsts. The first to be elected
in his 30s, the first millennial, the first openly gay
commander in chief, and the first mayor. – This is the only chance
you’ll ever get… – I can see why people are
impressed by Buttigieg, right? He has such a unique bio. He’s a veteran,
a Harvard graduate, and a Rhodes Scholar
who’s openly gay, and also so young that if he served two terms
as president, when he came out,
he would still only be 46. Yeah, plus he’s
a concert pianist and speaks seven languages, including Norwegian, which he learned just so that
he could read Norwegian books. [laughter] Compare that to America’s
current president… [laughter] Who has read zero books and is fluent
in zero languages. [laughter] Now, if you’re
watching this going, “Trevor,
why are you only showing us the positive things
about Pete Buttigieg?” Because that’s
all we could find, all right? No, I’m being serious.
There’s no dirt on this guy. Like, nothing. Usually, candidates have
some skeletons somewhere, but even his skeletons
are singing his praises. “He gave me calcium
for my bones.” ♪ ♪ – The field
of president hopefuls is a little more crowded tonight. Minnesota’s Democratic senator
Amy Klobuchar announcing her bid during a snowstorm
in Minneapolis. – I stand before you as the granddaughter of an iron ore miner, as the first woman elected to the United States Senate from the state of Minnesota… [cheers and applause] To announce my candidacy for president
of the United States. – “Yay. Can we go home now?”
[laughter] “We can’t feel our legs.” Normally,
this kind of campaign rollout would be considered a success,
but unfortunately, her announcement
was overshadowed by some other news. – All this comes amid a report that Klobuchar had such
a bad reputation over treatment of staff that a number of
potential staffers withdrew from consideration
to manage her campaign. – Sources tell the “HuffPost”
the senior senator is… – Her anger left staffers
in tears, she threw papers, and sometimes
even hurled objects, and one aide
was accidentally hit with a flying binder. – Wow, throwing binders
at her employees? They need to legalize weed
in her office. [laughter] So, fresh after
her announcements, the first obstacle to Senator
Klobuchar’s presidential run has already presented itself. How does she respond
to the accusations? Well, not in the way
you’d think. – I am tough. I push people.
That is true. But my point is that I have high expectations
for myself, I have high expectations
for the people that work for me, and I have high expectations
for this country. – Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. She has high expectations
for her staff and this country? Sounds like
if she becomes president, she’s gonna treat everyone
in America like her staff. She’s gonna be calling
random Americans at 6:00 in the morning. “Hey, Brad, why aren’t you
at work yet?’ “Huh, what? What?
I’m sorry, Madam President.” “Oh, you’re gonna be sorry.” Then a binder just flies
through the window. [mimics glass breaking,
screams weakly] ♪ ♪ – Are you ready
for how frivolous some of the campaign trail
is going to be? Like, I mean, you’ve seen now
people are asking if people know how to eat
fried chicken properly… – I know.
– And, um… do people know how to eat corn, and, like, are you ready
for that part of it? Do you think people
still like that? – It’s already happened, Trevor.
– Yeah? – So, first of all,
let me just say. I’ve never run for president
of the United States before… – Right.
– So it’s a new experience. And part
of the new experience is all these people will follow when you go somewhere
just to eat, and, like,
when I go somewhere to eat, it’s ’cause I’m hungry, and I really want
to be able to eat, and, you know, when you have
been working for a long period of time…
– Yes, yes. – And you’re really hungry,
you can get kind of primal. [laughter] Like, “Everybody back
the you-know-what off. I’m hungry,” and… and so I go into this place
and it’s– Rodney Scott is his name, and he’s got–in South Carolina. So South Carolina’s got
different kinds of regions, and based on the region,
the barbecue sauce is different. – Oh, okay, I didn’t know that.
All right. – Vinegar-based versus, like, tomato-based
versus mustard based. Okay, so his is vinegar-based, and his–and his restaurant is
just–the food is amazing. So I’m standing in line, and there’s, like,
all this press over there, and I can hear this whispering
by some of the press. “What’s she gonna order?
What’s she gonna order? Did she order meat or did she
just order, like, a salad?” right, and I’m like,
“Are you kidding me?” First of all, why would that be a debatable or even a subject of
discussion… – Right, right. – When we are dealing
with mass issues– like, massive issues
in our country? We’re dealing with issues
of massive inequality. We are dealing with the concern that we’ve got a president
embarrassing us in Munich. We’ve got so many things
to talk about, but yet they are talking abou–
– Yes, but did you order the– did you order the–
– Pulled pork, man. I had pulled pork. [laughter] Are you kidding me?
– We wanna know. ♪ ♪ – Out of all the candidates, there’s only one
I can see myself in. – I’m Andrew Yang, and I’m running for president
as a Democrat in 2020. – He’s a successful
businessman, and I don’t know
if it’s the cut of his suits or the way
he lights up a room, but there’s just
something about this guy that makes me want
to vote for him based on zero research. Okay, so you’re Asian, you’re running for president, What else is there to know? – Uh, my platform.

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